Monday, June 13, 2011

Greetings Laff Lovers,

There has been a rash of, how should I say it, inappropriate touching going around the office lately. Ear-flicking, ponytail-pulling and goosing, for example.

One of the girls started complaining to no one in particular that if this kind of behavior doesn't stop she is going to have to ask Magilla the ape-boss to institute some conduct policies.

Hearing this I walked up behind her chair, began caressing her shoulders and said, "I wouldn't bother. I'm the company sensitivity counselor."

Understandingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com



"The women who Congressman Anthony Weiner communicated with were a college student, a single mom, a blackjack dealer, and a porn star. Or, as we call that here in Los Angeles, the circle of life." -Conan O'Brien



A woman calls her lawyer and asks... "With all the lawsuits going on, I want to get in on some of that action. I hear people are suing cigarette companies because they got cancer and others are suing McDonalds because they got fat."

"And which one of those categories do you fit under?"

"Neither," says the women. "I just want to know if I can sue Budweiser for all the ugly men I've slept with."



"A new Nielson survey found that Washington, D.C. has the most 25-34-year-olds in the country who make over $100,000 a year. They're called hookers." -Jimmy Fallon



*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available! The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's 91 cents! (plus s&h). For more info or to order visit: The World According to TZ



Why do men die first?

This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know...

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race... you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework .. you're a pansy.

If you work too hard... there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough... you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay... this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her... that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you... it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks... it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet... it's male indifference.

If you cry ... you're a wimp.
If you don't... you're insensitive.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear... you're a pervert.
If you don't... you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape... you're sexist.
If you don't ... you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape... you're vain.
If you don't... you're a slob.

If she has a headache... she's tired.
If you have a headache... you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often... you're oversexed.
If you don't... there must be someone else.

Bottom Line... Men die first because they want to.


mailto:tz@gophercentral.com