Thursday, March 29, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,

"Can you believe this shit?" Clean Laffs Joe was ranting. "It just gets dumber and dumber. First this Trayvon kid gets shot to death and before he's even cold the vultures are out to make money off of his body."

"What are you talking about?" I asked out of morbid curiosity.

"This," he said, indicating an image on his computer screen. "Some moron in Florida is selling T-shirts showing the killer's face with the caption "Pussy Ass Cracker'."

"So?"

"So...the killer is Hispanic! Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought 'cracker' referred to white people."

"Are you suggesting that you don't want to share an ethnic slur with a Mexican? Because if you are then THAT'S racist."

"Not at all," he countered, becoming defensive. "I'm just saying that if you are going to be racist you might as well be grammatically correct."

"Maybe he's a whole wheat cracker," I suggested.

Ethnically,

TZ

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"The fast food chain Chick-fil-A is reportedly sponsoring two anti-gay marriage conferences. A lot of people are upset about this, especially their competition: Chick-on-chick-fil-A." -Jimmy Fallon



Hit the gym this morning, then had a nice shower.

I've just picked up a bottle of home brew from one of the neighbours for this afternoon.

I've got a few joints rolled up for the XBox tournament with the guys.

After that I'll fuck around online with some porn and gambling sites.

Then to finish off the perfect day, it's a nice blow job before I go to bed.

Fuck, I love prison!



"The man who hacked into Scarlett Johansson's cell phone and posted nude photos of her has pled guilty. However, the judge has reduced the man's sentence if he solemnly swears to do it again." -Conan O'Brien



*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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On the first day of the school term the shop teacher was surprised to see a rather proper-looking young lady sitting in the front row of his classroom. Her name was Emily and she was the only girl to sign up for the woodwork class.

The bemused teacher asked her if she was sure she was in the right class. Emily assured him that she was.

The teacher, still somewhat puzzled, added, "This course may be a bit out of your league. Do you have any experience at all working with tools?"

"What exactly do you mean?" Emily asked.

"Well, for example, do you know the difference between a nail, a screw and a bolt?" the teacher expounded.

After pondering for a moment, Emily admitted, "I can't really say, since I've never been 'bolted'."