Monday, January 31, 2011
Greetings Laff Lovers,
We're getting ready for the snowpocalypse here in the
Chicago area. They are predicting up to two feet of
accumulation over the next two days.
So I went and filled the car up with gas and made sure
we had plenty of toilet paper and tampons. The last thing
I want is an emergency cropping up when it is impossible
for me to get to the store for a couple days.
But with those precautions taken I feel prepared. In the
very worst case scenario we could always eat one of the
kids (probably one of the girls), so as long as I have
something nice and soft to wipe my ass with.
Preparedly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"The Austrian version of 'Dancing With the Stars' will
feature two men dancing together. That's right, a gay
version of 'Dancing With the Stars.' I thought we were
already watching the gay version." -Jimmy Fallon
A new couple were making love in the dunes. When they were
done he said, "How lucky for us that you brought a condom
with you."
She said, "We're even luckier than you think because I found
it here in the sand."
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"Researchers at the University College of London report that
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-Jay Leno
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A woman goes to her social worker all black and blue.
"Oh, my God! What happened?" he asks.
"I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home
drunk on dollar beer night he beats me to a pulp."
"I have a solution to that problem," the social worker says.
"When your husband comes home drunk just take a glass of
sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth, but don't
swallow. Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes to
bed."
Two weeks later the woman goes back to the social worker to
thank him for his help.
"That was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband came home
drunk I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and
he didn't touch me once!"
"You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com