Monday, June 30, 2014

Greetings Laff Lovers,

The other night the wife was commenting (making fun of) my orgasm face. Everybody has an orgasm face. Some people squint, some people gasp, some people pant, some people hold their breath. I've even had a woman cry on me...this was back in college before I met my wife. You want to talk about being freaked out. I thought I had punctured her cervix or something, but she told me that's just how she reacts when she cums. Weird.

Anyway...the wife told me I look like I'm about to throw up when I orgasm. And I was about to retort when it occurred to me that I have never seen myself cum. In all the years I have been having sex (and jerking off) I have never done it in front of a mirror.

So tonight I have a project for myself. I am going to jerk off in front of a mirror and see once and for all if I really look like I am going to blow chunks when I blow my load.

Why does this feel really gay to me?

Experimentally,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"A 10-year-old boy in New York set a new world record for his age group after running a mile in 5 minutes and 1 second. He was able to set the record after he accidentally made eye contact with a girl." -Seth Meyers



This guy leaves the bar, hoping he can get home early enough not to piss his wife off for drinking after work. He gets home and finds his boss in bed with his wife.

Later, back at the bar, the guy tells the bartender the story.

"Wow, that's awful, what did you do?"

"Well, I carefully snuck back out the door, and hightailed it back here, shoot, they we're just getting started, so I figure I got time for at least a couple more beers."



"This week in New York, police arrested a man who tried to steal 43 sticks of underarm deodorant from a drugstore. The man is being described as 'not European.'" -Conan O'Brien



Bert and Mabel were a week away from their wedding day. Bert was beginning to get very horny so he decided to take a chance. "Er, Mabel, as it is only a week to the big day, how's about a quick screw?" said Bert.

Mabel's answer as expected was, "No Bert, it's only 6 days to go, however you can have a look at your prize."

The next night Bert again pesters Mabel. Being an understanding sort, Mabel gives in and says, "It is still 5 days to go and as you've been a good fellow, I'll let you have a little feel of your prize."

It only makes matters worse for Bert and by the next night he can hardly contain himself. Seeing his predicament Mabel greets Bert and whispers in his ear, "I can see what your problem is but you've still got 4 days to go. I will let you have a good sniff of your prize."

Not being bashful, Bert lifts Mabel's skirts and sniffs.

After a minute he comes up for air, "Mabel, do you think it will keep 'til Saturday?!"