Thursday, November 12, 2015

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Among the many great injustices perpetrated upon modern man; including traffic, fondu, line dancing and the DMV, must be listed push-up bras.

It is nothing more than socially sanctioned deceit on the part of women. Lying, plain and simple.

I have listened to women complain ad nauseam about how men lie and cheat, all the while wearing one of modern culture's greatest lies right under their shirts.

How many times has a man invested days, perhaps even weeks getting a C or a D-cup into bed, only to discover at the moment of truth that he is suddenly knee-deep in a relationship with a B?

And it is not even that I am categorically opposed to the thoracically challenged, I am a fan of the female form in its many splendorous varieties, but don't base an entire relationship on an outright lie right from the outset!

My wife, on the other hand, has become a big fan of push-up bras in the last few years, but at least I already know what's under there. Besides, after three kids who am I to begrudge her a little support?

Honestly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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I was making love to this girl and she started crying.

I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?"

She said. "No. I hate myself now."

--Rodney Dangerfield



Rosy, posing thoughtfully in the mirror, says to Nina, "I think I'm going to see a dietician."

Nina asked, "Why?"

Rosy answered, "'Cause I need to know once and for all, how many calories are in sperm."

Nina replied, "I really have no clue, but if you're swallowing that much of it, no guy is going to care if you're a little chunky."



If sex with three people is a threesome, AND sex with two people is a twosome...I now understand why they call you handsome.



An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a checkup and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?"

The old timer said, "I'm a golfer and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways."

The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your father when he died?"

The old timer said, "Who said my father's dead?"

The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your father is still alive? How old is he?"

The old timer said, "He's 100 years old and, in fact, he golfed with me this morning. That's why he's still alive, he's a golfer."

The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your grandfather? How old was he when he died?"

The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"

The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! How old is he?"

The old timer said, "He's 118 years old."

The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?"

The old timer said, "No...Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he got married."

The doctor said in amazement, "Got married!! Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?"

The old timer shot back, "Who said he wanted to?"