Monday, May 24, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I got stuck picking up my older brother from the airport, and
when he finally made it to the car he lit up a smoke and
inhaled deeply.
"I hate flying."
"Safer than driving."
"I'm not afraid of crashing," he said looking at me like I was
an idiot. "I hate being in such close proximity to fucking
people."
"Well, if that's what you meant why didn't you just say 'I hate
being in close proximity to fucking people'?"
"Because I don't...skip it, TZ. The concept is beyond your
comprehensive abilities."
We drove a little in silence with him making love to his
cigarette.
"I was stuck next to two homosexuals for the entire flight."
"How do you know they were gay?"
"They were giving each other handjobs."
"Oh."
Obviously,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"A 10-foot alligator found its way into a mall in Orlando.
Police are calling it a close call, while Panda Express is
calling it 'Combo Meal No. 4.'" -Jimmy Fallon
Two friends were at a bar discussing life and love. One said,
"Would you believe that out of them ot of all the women I've
been with not a one of them was a virgin? It'd be nice if girls
saved themselves for marriage. I think it would cure a big part
of the huge divorce crisis we have."
"Yeah, Jim, I hear you," said the other. "Out of all the women
I've been with I've only had two virgins myself; my wife and
yours."
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A guy starts a new job, and the boss says, "If you marry my
daughter, I'll make you a partner, give you an expense account,
a Mercedes, and a million dollar annual salary."
The guy says, "What's wrong with her?"
The boss shows him a picture, and she's hideous.
The boss says, "It's only fair to tell you, she's not only
ugly, she's as dumb as a box of rocks."
The guy says, "I don't care what you offer me, it ain't worth
it."
The boss says, "I'll give you a five million dollar salary and
build you a mansion on Long Island."
The guy accepts, figuring he can put a bag over her head when
they have sex.
About a year later, the guy buys an original Van Gogh and he's
about to hang it on the wall. He climbs a ladder and yells to
his wife, "Bring me a hammer."
She mumbles, "Get the hammer. Get the hammer," and she fetches
the hammer.
The guy says, "Get me some nails."
She mumbles, "Get the nails. Get the nails," and she gets him
some nails.
The guys starts hammering a nail into the wall, he hits his
thumb and yells, "Fuck!"
She mumbles, "Get the bag. Get the bag."
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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