Thursday, April 11, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,

The weirdoes in the office were looking at some bizarre genital tattoos they found on the Internet today when I came back from lunch. I heard them 'Eeeewing' and groaning so I made a detour to take a look.

There was an idiot with a snake tattoo beginning on his stomach with the tip of his rather small dick being the head, and there was a skank who had a scary looking demon on her pubis with her rather large vagina being the demon's open mouth. Neither of these were appealing to me.

I was reminded of a time in the early 80s when I brought a girl home at about 3 am, and as she disrobed a bunch of tattoos became visible. When she took off her panties to reveal a pierced vagina I paused for a sodden moment.

"You know, Janet...

"It's Jeanette."

"Either way, a couple of your tattoos look like they were done in prison. I'm thinking that I want to take you home before I stick my dick in you and it turns green and falls off."

"You're a real asshole, you know that? I should have picked up your friend."

"Probably would have been a bad idea, because he has his johnson pierced. Could you imagine if the two of you got your piercings stuck together? That would be one hell of an emergency room visit."

Discriminatingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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Hi TZ,

You can say what you like about paedophiles, at least they drive slowly past schools.

From Richard

[At least Clean Laffs Joe doesn't have to deal with this kind of shit.]



I was working out at the gym when I spotted a sweet young thing walking in. I asked the trainer standing next to me, "What machine should I use to impress that lady over there?"

The trainer looked me over and said; "I would recommend the ATM in the lobby."



I've just fitted strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.



When I was 13, I hoped one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so, I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never
settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made
me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big tits.