Thursday, June 18, 2015

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I have been reading about this Rachel Dolezal controversy. This is the white woman who has been telling everyone for years that she is black, and when her parents (of all people) finally outed her as a 'cracker' she was pressured to resign her position as president of the Spokane, Washington chapter of the NAACP!

Some people have been defending Dolezal and comparing her to Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner as a pioneer in shattering boundaries of personal identification. Which is complete bullshit.

Nobody cares if Dolezal 'identifies' as a black woman. What people care about is her lying about who the hell she is.

It's like if you were going to hire Caitlyn Jenner as a nanny for your 4-year-old daughter and she lied to you about having a dick.

You might be willing to hire a trans-gendered woman to take care of your little girl, but s/he didn't give you a choice.

Maybe Rachel Dolezal can get a job with Jesse Jackson's Rainbow PUSH Coalition.

Affirmative actionly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"How about this woman Rachel Dolezal in Spokane, Washington? She was president of the Spokane chapter of the NAACP but was exposed as a white woman who was pretending to be black. A lot of people are upset, especially her white friends who thought they had at least one black friend." -Jimmy Fallon



It just dawned on me why Mayberry from 'The Andy Griffith Show' was so peaceful and quiet ....nobody was married!

Here are the single people that come to mind. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T. Bass, the Darlin family, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara... in fact, the only one married was Otis and he stayed drunk.



"A new study suggests that marriage is more beneficial for men than women. The results of the study were shouted at me through a locked bedroom door." -Seth Meyers



The lady was a Southern Baptist who attended services and taught Sunday School every week.

One Sunday an out of town gentleman was in the pew right behind her and noticed what a fine looking woman she was.

While they were taking up the collection, the man leaned forward and said: "Hey, how about you and I having dinner on Tuesday?"

"Why yes, that would be nice", the lady responded.

Well, the gentleman couldn't believe his luck.

On Tuesday he picked the lady up and took her to the finest restaurant in that part of South Carolina. When they sat down, the gentleman looked over at her and suggested: "Would you like a cocktail before dinner?"

"Oh, no," said the fine example of southern womanhood. "What ever would I tell my Sunday School class?"

Well, the gentleman was set back a bit, so he didn't say much until after dinner, when he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and asked: "Would you like a smoke?"

"Oh my goodness no," said the woman. "I couldn't face my Sunday School class if I did !"

Well, the man felt pretty low after that, so they left, got in his car and as he was driving the lady home, they passed the local Holiday Inn.

He'd been morally rebuffed twice already, so he figured he had nothing to lose so he ventured forth with: "Ahhh, mmmm, how would you like to stop at this motel?"

"Oh yes, that would be exciting," she said in anticipation.

The gentleman couldn't believe his ears. He did a fast u-turn right then and there, drove back to the motel and checked in!

The next morning, after a wild and passionate night of the most incredible lovemaking imaginable, the gentleman awoke first.

He looked at the lovely Dixie darlin' lying there in the bed and with remorse thought: "What the hell have I done?"

He shook her awake and pleaded, "I hope I haven't compromised your virtue. Whatever are you going to tell your Sunday School class?"

The lady said: "The same thing I always tell them, 'You don't have to smoke and drink to have a good time.'"