Sunday, September 18, 2016
Greetings Laff Lovers,
You know what ethnic group doesn't take their fair share of abuse? Asians.
Just because they're good at math and they're all technical geniuses, somehow that's supposed to give them a pass.
Although to be honest, they are a model of efficiency. I mean, look at the cars they make. Hondas, Toyotas, Hyundais; they're all tiny and for the most part they work really well.
They must have modeled them after their dicks.
A billion and a half people can't be wrong.
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I asked a Chinese girl in the mall for her number. She replied, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"
"Wow!" I said. "I'm in!"
Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
A yuppie business woman in town for an important meeting, checked into her room at the swank hotel and unpacked her bags. Noticing that her favorite suit had been badly wrinkled during the flight, she phoned the front desk and asked to have the hotel's valet service pick up the suit for pressing.
Almost immediately after she hung up the phone, a knock sounded at the door and there stood an elderly Chinaman.
Impressed by the speedy service, the career woman exclaimed, "My, you come lickety-split!"
"No ma'am," replied the old Chinaman, "I come get laundry."
How do you know an Asian guy robbed your house?
-Your homework is done
-Your computer is fixed
-Your cat has been eaten
-he's still in the driveway trying to back out when you get home.
An asian man is having trouble seeing, so he goes to the eye doctor. After some tests the doctor says "Well, it looks like you have cataracts."
"No I don't," he replies, "I drive Rincon Continentah."
There I was standing in a bar in New York and this little Chinese guy comes in and stands next to me.
I said to him, "Do you know any of that martial arts stuff, like Kung-Fu, Karate or Ju-Jitsu?"
He says, "No, why the fluck you ask me dat, is it coz I Chinee?"
"No", I said, "It's because you're drinking my beer you slanty eyed little prick."