Monday, October 1, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I've been a bit backed up lately. I don't know if my wife's cooking is finally catching up with me or if it's one of those things that happen as you age. You know, like an older woman's vagina dries up like the Sahara on a hot August afternoon? Anyway, Clean Laffs Joe suggested I administer myself an enema.

"I tried that once," I said, "but I just couldn't get myself to push it in."

"Afraid you were going to like it?"

"Yeah, I thought, 'maybe these homos know something I don't.'"

"Don't be such a baby. Have your wife help you...you can even make an erotic night out of it."

"Man, what the hell is wrong with you? Having a woman shove a hose up my ass causing me to shit all over the place is not my idea of an erotic night...anymore."

Old-fashionedly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"A new study in Norway says divorce rates are far higher when men help with the housework and much lower when women do all the chores. How many guys are going to jump on this study? 'Honey, I'd like to help with the housework but our marriage is more important.'" -Jay Leno



An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks once more for old time's sake.

He hires a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's going at it as best as he can for a guy his age when he asks, "How am I doing?"

The prostitute replies, "Well, sailor, you're doing about three knots."

"Three knots?" he replies, "What's that supposed to mean?"

She says, "You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're knot getting your money back."



"Security workers at JFK Airport are complaining that they don't have enough time to do their jobs thoroughly. Last time I flew, the TSA guy said, 'Uh, just grope yourself.'" --Jimmy Fallon



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The Polack was getting friendly with the woman at the bar. She rubbed up against him and, to her surprise, she felt something thick and rock hard. She invited him back to her place and took him into the bedroom.

But when he pulled off his pants, she was shocked to see a foot-long length of steel pipe between his legs. "How did you get that?" she demanded.

The Polack said, "A couple of months ago my penis began dripping."

She asked, "So you went to a doctor?"

"The doctor was too expensive. So I called a plumber."