Sunday, October 19, 2014

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I was just reading about a study that came out of the University of somewhere-or-other which claims that mens' brains are wired to ignore food in favor of sex, apparently when they have to choose one over the other.

My question is; why do we have to choose?

This is the 21st century and we are living at the peak of western culture. I think we can dispense with any taboos involving food and sex.

Who is to say you can't bang your wife (or partner of choice) while enjoying a casserole or maybe a nice lasagna? That would work particularly well if she has a flat stomach to rest your food on. On the other hand, if she has a bit of a belly you could use her navel to hold dipping sauce, or stick a candle in there for ambiance.

And I've never tried it, but I bet a pussy makes a fun wine decanter.

In the morning you can flip her over and have your breakfast cereal on her ass while doing her doggy style.

I don't even know where to begin with gastronomic possibilities tits provide.

I haven't thought much about the side of it, but the ladies are welcomed to write in with their ideas for men.

So I would say to the authors of this study; get your heads out of your asses and your minds out of the 19th century. It is a brave and exciting new world for food and sex.

Gastronomically,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?"

She says, "What's that?"

He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."



Two guys are drinking at a bar. The first says "Do you ever start thinking about something, and when you go to talk, you say something you don't mean?"

The Second guy says "Yeah, I was at the airport buying plane tickets, and the chick behind the counter had these huge tits, and instead of asking her for 'two tickets to Pittsburgh' I asked for 'two pickets to Titsburgh'."

The First guy says, "Yeah, well I was having breakfast with my wife last week, and instead of saying 'Honey can you please pass me the sugar?', I said 'You've ruined my life you FUCKING BITCH.'"



To men dicussing how tight ass cold their wives had been to them about giving sex. The first fellow says "My wife's so cold I can put a glass of water in bed with her and the next morning its turned to ice."

The second fellow says "Hell, every time my old lady spreads her legs the furnace kicks in!"



There's a woman in a hospital in a coma. Her nurse notices after a few days that every time she sponge bathes the woman around the crotch, her vital signs, according to the nearby monitor, increase significantly. The nurse gets the bright idea that oral sex might just provide the stimulus to bring the woman out of her coma.

She calls the woman's husband, tells him her idea about oral sex, and he agrees. When he arrives at the hospital, the nurse ushers him into the room, closes the curtain around the bed, and closes the door.

Five minutes later, the man comes running out of the room screaming that all of his wife's vital signs have plummeted to zero and she needs a doctor immediately. The nurse, upset that her idea had not only not worked, but seemed to be threatening the life of the woman she had sought to save, asked the man what had happened.

"I'm not sure," said the husband, "but I think she choked!"