Thursday, April 4, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I was lounging in Lewis' office and he pulled out one of those electronic cigarettes. I watched as he blew odorless smoke into the air.

"You know," I said, "even though I haven't smoked in years, lately I've been craving a cigar."

"Hmmm, I didn't realize I was giving you cravings," he said as he put it away.

"And a drink," I continued.

"Hmmm..."

"And a blowjob."

"I know what you mean."

"Lewis? what are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing. You bring the wine."

Bendingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So they'd have at least one good way to shut a woman up.



New study reveals: Beer contains female hormones!

Last month, Montreal University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.

The research theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schooners of beer within a one (1) hour period.
It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men:
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.

5) Became overly emotional
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally, and
8) Had to sit down while urinating.

No further testing was considered necessary!



The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.



A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?"

Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend."

Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.

The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door and there stood Grandma's minister.

The minister said, "Hello son, is your Grandma home?"

The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend."

The minister left.