Thursday, December 9, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I was talking to our in-house legal eagle the other day and he
started to tell me how great the pork was in Germany. He said
that they cooked pork chops medium rare over there.
I said, "Isn't that a bit dangerous, what with triconosis and
everything?"
He said before he ordered it, he asked about how clean the hogs
were. The German waiter was very proud and said that they raise
their own pigs on the property and that we could even go out
and pet the pigs if we wanted to. Petting the pigs was totally
free, too.
"Wow! Free pig petting," I said. "What's that the 'Silver
Package'? I bet if you paid a little they'd give you the 'Gold
Package' which gets you your picture taken with the pig. And
for a little more you get the 'Platinum Package' where you
can actually fuck the pig before they slaughter it and serve
it to you."
I'll-passingly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"Sarah Palin shot a reindeer on the last episode of her show.
You don't typically see politicians shooting reindeer to
death two weeks before Christmas." -Jimmy Kimmel
Little Johnny goes to school and the teacher says, "Today
we are going to learn multi-syllable words. Does anybody
have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
Johnny raises his hand and says, "Mas-tur-bate."
The teacher smiles and says, "Wow Johnny, that's a mouthful."
Little Johnny says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a
blowjob."
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A teacher is explaining biology to her Primary School class.
"Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she said.
A little girl raised her hand. "I had a kitty-cat that
stuttered."
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories
could be, asked the girl to describe the incident..
"Well," she began, "I was in the back garden with my kitten
and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start
and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our
garden!"
"That must've been scary," said the teacher.
"It sure was," said the little girl.
"My brave little kitten raised her back, went 'Fffff! Fffff!
FffffF,' but before she could say 'Fuck Off!,' the Rottweiler
ate her!"
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com