Monday, August 29, 2011Greetings Laff Lovers,
I walked into the house early Friday afternoon after cutting out of the office early, and my wife hugged and kissed me.
"Oh, you're home early! How about if we get the stuff we need to put up the shelves I've been waiting for?"
"Not really in the mood to spend my hooky afternoon putting up shelves."
"OK, how about we go have a late lunch?"
"Sorry, Babe, I just ate."
"Well then, let's go to the mall and get gifts for the girl's birthdays?
"Why don't we just go upstairs and I'll show you what a choir of angels singing feels like?"
She kissed me again. "Oh, Honey, I can't. It's that time of the month."
"Don't sweat it. I'm goin' golfing anyway. I just came to change, but you're in such a good mood I thought I could get a hole-in-one before even getting to the course."
Closest-to-the-hole-ly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link:
tz@gophercentral.comWhy is it when a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys, she's a slut?
But when a guy does it, he's all of a sudden gay?
Dear Abby,
My Fiance refuses to let me have a bachelor party unless she is there. I want to have all the fun my friends have, but she is standing in the way. Please help me find a solution to this problem.
Thankfully,
Going Down The Aisle
Dear Pussy Whipped,
Buy the bitch a pole and tell her to learn how to dance.
Abby
"A woman in Colorado gave birth in the bathroom of a Starbucks. The baby was huge ? I'm sorry, venti." -Jimmy Fallon
*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***It's Available.
THE Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's 91 cents! (plus s&h). For more info or to order visit:
THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZPaul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table. Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future."
Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend."
"That's true," said Paul.
"Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?"
"Yes," Paul shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?"
"Love line? No, from the calluses."