Monday, February 27, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,

We were in an editorial meeting and Clean Laffs Joe folded his arms and put his head down as if he were sleeping. Magilla waited for him to rejoin the discussion, but Joe was unaware that he was the cause of the silence.

Finally Magilla said, "Someone hold a dick under his nose to see if he's still breathing."

Rise-and-shine-ly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com

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"A new survey found that 55 percent of men expect to pay on the first date. While the other 45 percent have never been on a second date." -Jimmy Fallon



My wife and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night.

"Did you smell that food?" she asked. "Incredible!"

Being the nice guy I am, I thought, "What the heck, I'll treat her!"

So we walked past it again.



Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.



*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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As a court clerk, I am well-versed in the jury selection process. First a computer randomly selects a few hundred citizens from the entire county to report for jury duty on a particular day. Then another computer assigns 40 of those present to a courtroom. Then the 40 names are placed into a drum, and a dozen names are pulled.

During jury selection for one trial, the judge asked potential Juror No. 1 if there was any reason he could not be a fair and impartial juror.

"There may be," he replied. "Juror No. 12 is my ex-wife, and if we were on the same jury, I guarantee we would not be able to agree on anything."

Both were excused.