Monday, October 31, 2011Greetings Laff Lovers,
Here it is, another Halloween. You know you're getting old when the mere thought of handing out handfuls of bite-sized candy bars to dozens and dozens of little power rangers, ninjas and princesses makes you twitch.
So I need to get to the store and buy about a trillion calories worth of candy for tonight, and pick up some restraints to tie my kids down with when they come home from trick-or-treating with acute hyperglycemia.
Come to think of it...maybe I'll pick up a few restraints for the wife, too.
BDSMly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link:
tz@gophercentral.comP.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just click here and hit the like button...
'Like' Deal of the Day Here"This year one of the most popular costumes is the Snooki costume. It's easy to make. You just dress up as an orange pumpkin and pass out in a men's room." -Conan O'Brien
An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night.
Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.
"I'm 90 years old," he says.
"90!" replies the woman. "Don't you realize you've had it?"
"Oh, I have?" says the old man. "I'm sorry. How much do I owe you?"
"Halloween is on Monday. I cannot wait. The smiles on those children's faces when they come to the door and taste what's left of the cocktail onions in my refrigerator, priceless." -Jimmy Kimmel
*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***It's Available.
THE Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's 91 cents! (plus s&h). For more info or to order visit:
THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZThis guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is very dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house, gives it a bath, blow-dries its fur, and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping that they will think it died of natural causes.
A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, "Did you hear that Fluffy died?" ]
The guy stumbles around and says, "Um.. no.. um.. what happened?"
The neighbor replies, "We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There must be some real sick people out there!"