Thursday, January 16, 2014

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I walked past Lewis this morning and noticed him leaning back in his chair, a cup of coffee cradled in his hands, a big, stupid grin on his face and an air of peace and serenity about his person.

"What the hell are you grinning about at 8:30 in the morning?" I asked him.

He gave me a conspiratorial wink, "You know that wonderful, relaxed and content feeling you get when your wife wakes you up with a blow job and you get to start your day with an orgasm?"

"My wife or your wife?"

Comparingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"A new study found that couples who don?t have kids end up having happier marriages. So to anyone whose parents got divorced, I guess it WAS your fault." -Jimmy Fallon



If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with.

But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear to realize that you had set it free....you either married it or gave birth to it.



I had forgotten to get my estrogen patch prescription re-filled, and soon the symptoms of menopause--hot flashes, forgetfulness and irritability returned.

At the drugstore, I found myself telling the pharmacist all about my problems. After listening patiently, he asked, "So, how many people asked you to get this refilled?



A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'

Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family , so call me The President.

Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.

We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.

The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.

Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.

He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the key-hole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.

He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.'

The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'

The little boy replies, 'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.