Monday, May 20, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Have you ever gone grocery shopping in the middle of the day? You know who shops at that time? Mommies. I stopped at the grocery store during lunch today and it was like MILF Mecca. There must have been a dozen plump, little cuties dragging whining little kids around after their grocery carts.

I spent five minutes surreptitiously watching one busty 30-something who was stuffed into a pair of sweat pants and flip-flops fondling tomatoes.

It was when I followed another woman down the feminine hygiene aisle in the hopes of catching a glance down her shirt that I realized I really need a fucking hobby, or something.

Voyeuristically,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"Have you ever noticed how most Ford vehicle names are more fun when you put 'anal' in front of them? Probe, Explorer, Excursion, Endeavor, Ranger, Focus..." -Anonymous Facebook poster



Darren marries this girl, and they go on their honeymoon. He leaves the room the first night to go down to the lobby to get a pack of cigarettes.

When he gets back, his bride is lying on the bed naked fucking one of the bellhops. Another one is under her, getting her in the ass. She's sucking off the desk clerk, and she's jerking off a cab driver and the dishwasher.

Darren screams, "What the fuck are all these jerk-offs doing in here?!"

She says, "Well, you always knew I was a flirt."



A priest and a rabbi are sitting at an outdoor cafe when a 10-year-old boy walks by. The priest says, "Want to fuck him?"

The rabbi replies, "Out of what?"



It was with much dismay that Rachael discovered her husband Hymie had a mistress. Rachael, however, was not the sort to kill the golden goose, rather she decided to find out what the mistress had that she didn't.

After a long interrogation Hymie finally relented. "Well, to tell you the truth, Rachael, you are too cold. When we make love you don't do anything. You just lay there, whereas she moans and groans with feeling."

"Is that all?" thought Rachael. "Is that all there is to it?"

That night she dressed in her most alluring lingerie, slipped Hymie a shot of his favorite cognac and got him into bed. Half-way through the business she decided to give him her most passionate moans and groans. "Oh Hymie, darling," she began, "I've had the most terrible day. Our shares dropped two points, the maid quit and you don't give me enough house-keeping money..."