Monday, April 26, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
My kids and I were sitting in the car waiting for my wife to
come out of the supermarket, when a wrinkly old lady pulled
into the spot next to us. She was a bit too close and I thought,
'she's gonna ding my door.'
Sure enough she opened her door and it banged into mine. She
looked at me and panicked. I looked at her, smiled and said,
"It's OK. Don't worry about it."
She kept looking down at my door then looking back up at my
face. I was worried the poor old bird was going to have a heart
attack.
"Really," I said, "don't worry. No problem."
Without a word, she walked to the store keeping half an eye on
me.
"If that would have been us you would kill us," my kids said.
"Yeah, because you're mindless, little piggies."
"That's not fair."
"OK, I'll make you a deal. When you're 110 years-old you can
ding whatever hunk of junk I'm driving and I won't say
anything."
"You'll be dead by then," said my nine-year-old.
My eleven-year-old chimed in, "He'll be dead a long time
before that."
"Hey, lose the enthusiasm from your voice, would ya?"
Of-course-we'll-miss-you-ly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
Car Digital Voice Recording Memo Pad w/ Built-In Light
Normal Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $9.99
Get two for $17.98
Keep moving through your busy day with this deluxe memo pad with
hands-free digital voice recorder.
The multi-segment recording chip holds phone numbers, directions,
addresses, memos and appointments with push button ease. The
refillable notepad allows you to jot down notes and conveniently
take the message with you.
Mounts easily on the windshield with its heavy-duty suction cup.
It even has a built-in light so you can read and write your
messages at night.
FEATURES:
- Hands-Free Voice Recording
- Stores & Plays Messages
- Mounts To Any Windshield
INCLUDES:
- Refillable Notepad
- Built-In Light
- Heavy Duty Suction Cup
- Ball Point Pen
- Built-In Speaker
- Record & Play Functions
Order one for just $9.99 or save $2.00 and get (2) for $17.98
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/1183/c/120/a/498
"A 96-year-old man in Taiwan just got married to a 30-year-
old woman. They say what makes it work is having similar
interests. She likes going to movies and doing crossword
puzzles, and he likes doing anything that's not dying."
-Jimmy Fallon
Each one of us is a mixture of good qualities and some perhaps
not so good qualities. In considering our fellow man, we
should remember his good qualities and realize that his faults
only prove that he is, after all, a human being. We should
refrain from making harsh judgment of a person just because he
happens to be a dirty, rotten, no-good son-of-a-bitch.
Get your Full-Size American Flag for Just $4.99
http://pd.gophercentral.com/r/186/a/498/l/353ds6
"In South Africa, a 96-year-old man has become the world's
oldest bungee jumper. The funeral will be this Tuesday."
-Jay Leno
Laptop Holder by FineLife
Sturdy, Stable, & Durable...
Normal Price: $24.99
DEAL PRICE: $9.99
With this Laptop Holder by FineLife you'll experience better
and more comfortable usage of your laptop. Slightly elevate
your laptop to get that correct angle. With up to seven points
of tilting or angle, adjust as you feel fit. Improving your
posture will greatly improve your productivity as well.
And because your laptop will slightly be elevated, the free
flow of air below means the holder will help your laptop cool
down just a little. Added performance for your laptop, you
will get.
But what you may love most about it is the rotating base which
is great for presentations and meetings.
FEATURES:
- Adjustable angle, 10 to 16 degrees - Rotating base
- Compatible with all Laptop sizes - Heat dispersion effect
- Anti skid material at the base - Size: 28 cm x 26 cm
- Lightweight but built strong... made of ABS Plastic
Grab your very own Laptop Holder for $9.99... you will love it!
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14507/c/120/a/498
A woman awakes during the night, and her husband isn't in
bed with her. She goes downstairs to look for him. She
finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of
whiskey in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought,
just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip
of his whiskey.
"What's the matter, dear?" she asks. "Why are you down here
at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20
years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he
asks solemnly.
"Yes, I do," she replies.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat
of my car making love?"
"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a
chair beside him.
The husband continues, "Do you remember when he shoved the
gun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or
I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that, too," she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have
gotten out today."
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
91 cents! (plus s&h). For more info or to order visit:
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14420/c/120/a/498