Thursday, June 23, 2011

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Satan materialized in my office in a puff of sulfur and said, "I didn't get your Laffaday this morning."

"And I didn't get a sloppy blowjob," I replied. "Now we're both upset."

"You men," she hissed. "So easily distracted from life. If a woman allows you a little of your particular kink and strokes your ego a bit, you'd tell your own mother to go fuck herself if she told you to."

"Food."

"Excuse me?"

I said, "You forgot food. You've got to feed us, blow us and build up our egos before we are willing to see dear old Mama as the cunning, interfering bitch that she is."

Weakly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com



"Women should have labels on their foreheads that say, 'Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades, and good standing among your friends'." --Jeffrey Bernard



After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test by the National Health Service, my friend decided to have this next test carried out while visiting in San Francisco. He heard the nurses are beautiful and allegedly much more gentle and accommodating.

As he lay naked on his side on the table and the nurse began the examination.

"Don't worry, at this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection." said the nurse.

"I haven't got an erection," said the man.

"No, but I have," replied the nurse.



"The big mistake men make is that when they turn thirteen or fourteen and all of a sudden they've reached puberty they believe that they like women. Actually, you're just horny. It doesn't mean you like women any more at 21 than you did at ten." --Jules Feiffer


*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. THE Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's 91 cents! (plus s&h). For more info or to order visit: THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ


The female dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot.

"No way! No needles. I hate needles" the patient said.

The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects again.

"I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on suffocates me!"

The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill.

"No objection," the patient says. "'I'm fine with pills."

The dentist steps out of the office and returns a moment later, "Here's a Viagra."

The patient says, "Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a painkiller!"

"It doesn't" said the dentist, "but it's going to give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth."