Thursday, March 17, 2011
Greetings Laff Lovers,
Sure an' yur celebratin' the luck o' the Irish today, aren't
ya, laddie? If not, den get up off yur fookin' ass and get
to yur favorite waterin' hole to get yur belly full of beer.
Cripes sakes, man, it's Saint Paddy's Day--the start of the
spring season of drinkin'. Really, da Irish don't need
Saint Paddy's Day to give them the OK to drink--dat's a
God-given right da minute dey drag dare ass oot of bed in
the mornin'!
You know, I read recently that it is estimated that at any
one time, 0.7 percent of the world's population is drunk. I
think that number will be significantly elevated today. But
if you're smart, you'll be safe and won't drive!
For your St. Patrick's Day pleasure I've put together a few
good-natured, Irish blessings. Feel free to take these to
the bar with you tonight and impress the heck out of your
friends.
...May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
And rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.
So here's my wish for you potato eating Irish fucks out
there:
...May your redheaded Rose cause your johnson to rise.
May the wind that you break be silent, yet deadly.
May a redheaded babe sit anxiously on your face.
And may your pint of Guinness never run dry.
And when you're done playing taps on my meat-whistle,
May you keep your God-damn drunken ass out of jail!
Slainte,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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An Irish Man is sitting in the pub with his wife when he
says, "I love you."
She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?"
He replies, "It's me, talking to the beer."
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Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see
you.
2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog's parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your
point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24
hours a day.
7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died,
would you get another dog?"
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and
give them away.
11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without
calling you a pervert.
12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad.
They just think it's interesting.
13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
And last, but not least:
14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com