Monday, April 9, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Male Sexual Facts...? I don't know if these are true or not. I question its validity because I thought it was normal to have a 9 inch penis.

1) 94% of men lie about their dick size. According to condom manufacturers, only 6% of men need extra large condoms.

2) The average man is 5 inches long when erect (no matter what you have heard ladies, that's the truth). Incidentally the average vaginal capacity is only 6 inches, for you women who think you can handle king dong.

3) 80% of American men are circumcised. It's healthier.

4) No matter what all the ads say, nothing can make your penis grow but time (most men reach the end of their growth by the early 20's)

5) There is no correlation between penis size and shoe size, hand size, or nose size.

6) Blue balls does exist! It's technically called "prostatic congestion."

7) Only 16% of men shave their privates.


Women

1) Only 9% of women around the globe consider themselves "attractive" (20% of British women do). 43% of women use the term "natural", 24% say they have "average" looks, 8% prefer the term "feminine", 7% say they are "good looking", and 7% say they are "cute", and finally only 2% of women say they are "sexy".

2) An estimated 85% of women wear the wrong size bra.

3) 60% of women have had breast implants (this seems ridiculously high)

4) 75% of women like giving/getting oral sex.

5) 95% of women shave their pussies...I mean privates.

Statistically,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com

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In a local sports bar trivia quiz the other night, I lost by one point. The question was, where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, the answer is Africa.



A young couple get married. As the husband is an avid golfer, the wife decides to take up golf so she can spend more time with him.

Knowing nothing about it, she goes to the pro for lessons. The pro was busy and advised her to get a bucket of balls and practice until he was through with his present client.

"But I don't even know how to hold the clubs" The pro says, "Just hold it like you would your husband's penis."

Some time later, the pro approaches the driving range to see the woman driving the ball a fair distance. He says, "Not bad, but lets take the club out of your mouth."



So today at work some guy calls and asks, "Are you Mexican or Italian?"

I replied, "Sir, I'm white."

Then he says, "Not you, the restaurant."



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The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. Therefore, what we do is put the prisoner in the prison. Then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to reimprison him.

"After the second time they spent, they guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!

"The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal. Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted. She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, he YELLS at her, "Hey, it is not a life sentence!"