Monday, October 14, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Luck is a fickle mistress. Take our office football pool for example. Last year I invested five dollars a week, every week, and never won once. Not a single quarter. But so far this year I have won four times! That's over a hundred bucks in winnings.

You know, if my luck holds out a little longer I'll be able to afford a blowjob from my wife.

And before anybody writes in, no, I'm not bitter about my wife charging me for oral sex. It's a lot cheaper than when I used to have to give her jewelry in order to get a hummer.

Economically,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"Detroit's former mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick, has been sentenced to 28 years in prison for corruption. Well, lucky for him his years in Detroit will count as time served." -Jay Leno



Rosy, posing thoughtfully in the mirror, says to Nina, "I think I'm going to see a dietician."

Nina asked, "Why?"

Rosy answered, "'Cause I need to know once and for all, how many calories are in sperm."

Nina replied, "I really have no clue, but if you're swallowing that much of it, no guy is going to care if you're a little chunky."



"We seem to be getting along just fine without a government during the shutdown. I just pray that when the shutdown is over, all nonessential employees ? about 800,000 of them ? will be back at their nonessential jobs." -Dave letterman



A biker was riding along the road when he saw a girl about to jump off a bridge. So he stopped.

He gets off his bike and says, "Hey, honey, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he also didn't want to miss an opportunity, so he asked... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So she does... And it was a long, passionate, deep-tongued, lingering, thrilling kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "That was the best kiss I've had in a long time. That's a real talent you are going to waste. You're a hot, passionate, young thing. Why are you committing suicide?"

"Because, my parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."