Thursday, July 15, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
Looks like the kids are going to need some more therapy, and
it's not even my fault this time!
The wife took them to a place called Odyssey Fun World which
is a big arcade out here in the burbs. For some reason Benny
the Bull (the Chicago Bulls mascot) was there that day for
a promotion or something, and he was harassing people and
posing for pictures near the exit.
So as the wife and kids were walking out a young couple in
their twenties was right ahead of them, and so was Benny the
Bull. I didn't get all of the details, but apparently Benny
tried to put his arm around the girl, or did something which
sent the young man into a rage.
Right there, as my kids looked on in horror, the guy knocked
Benny down and began kicking the shit out of him.
Since it was a weekday afternoon the place was mostly filled
with kids and moms, so there was nobody to drag the maniac
off of poor Benny. By the time the guy finally exhausted him-
self and fled, Benny's bull head was off and his face was
all bloody.
Now my poor son is terrified of going back to the arcade.
And all because some pervert in a costume wanted to feel up
some 20-year-old chick.
Not-that-I-necessarily-blame-him,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"Mel Gibson was heard on an audio tape screaming obscenities
at his girlfriend. In Hollywood, they say there's no such
thing as bad press. Well, now, I think there is."
-David Letterman
As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged
that every time they have sex the husband puts his pocket
change into a china piggy bank on the bedside table. One
night while being unusually athletic, he accidentally
knocked the piggy bank onto the floor where it smashes.
To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there are hand-
fuls of twenty and fifty dollar bills. He asks his wife
"What's up with all the bills?"
To his wife which replies, "Well, not everyone is as cheap
as you are."
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say it's the perfect way to tell your date, 'I totally forgot
this was tonight.'" -Jimmy Fallon
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Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?". But
the initials really have been changed to stand for "What
would Jesus drive?"
One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old
Plymouth because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve
out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."
But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a
Geo. The passage urges the Jesus to "pursue your enemies
with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."
Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses'
followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the
Ram's horn sounds a long blast."
Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't
like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St.
John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not
speak of my own Accord..."
Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as
evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of
Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."
Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler:
"Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land." And,
following Jesus' lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda...
"The Apostles were in one Accord."
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com