Monday, February 7, 2011
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I walked into my office this morning to find one of the
customer service girls rifling through my desk drawers
looking for my candy stash, apparently.
"Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" I asked.
"I'm not snooping, or anything! I'm just looking for candy."
"So you're not snooping, you're stealing."
"All I want is some of your KitKats."
"If you're going to put it in your mouth I'd rather give
you my Mr. Goodbar."
It's a miracle I haven't been sued yet.
Cleverly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"7-Eleven is opening 100 new eco-friendly stores in Japan.
Of course, in Japan eco-friendly means 'Now with 20 percent
less dead whale.'" -Conan O'Brien
There were two old men sitting on a park bench talking.
One old man asked the other, "How is your wife?"
Second old man replied, "I think she may be Dead!"
First old man, "What do you mean you THINK she may be dead?"
Second old man, "Well... the sex is the same but the dishes
are starting to pile up."
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ATTRACTION - the act of associating horniness with a particular
person.
LOVE AT 1st SIGHT - what occurs when two extremely horny, but
not entirely choosy people meet.
DATING - the process of spending enormous amounts of money,
time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom
you don't especially like in the present and will learn to
like a lot less in the future.
BIRTH CONTROL - avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as
swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom,
and dating repulsive men or spending time around children.
EASY - a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual
morals of a man.
PRIG - a term used to describe a woman who wants to stay virgin
until married.
EYE CONTACT - a method utilized by a single woman to communicate
to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised
to do so, many woman have difficulty looking a man directly in
the eyes, not necessarily due to the shyness, but usually due
to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.
FRIEND - a member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who
has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally
unappealing.
INDIFFERENCE - a woman's feeling towards a man, which is in-
terpreted by the man as "playing hard to get."
INTERESTING - a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets
him do all the talking.
IRRITATING HABIT - what the endearing little qualities that
initially attract two people to each other turn into after a
few months together.
LAW OF RELATIVITY - how attractive a given person appears to
be is directly proportional to how unattractive your date is.
NYMPHOMANIAC - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex
more often than he does.
FRIGID - a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex less
often than he does, or who requires more foreplay than
lifting her nightgown.
SOBER - condition in which it is almost impossible to fall
in love.
NAG - a man's term for a woman who wants more from her life
with him than just intercourse.
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com