Monday, January 24, 2011
Greetings Laff Lovers,
Male Sexual Facts...? I don't know if these are true or not.
I question its validity because I thought it was normal to
have a 9 inch penis.
1) 94% of men lie about their dick size. According to condom
manufacturers, only 6% of men need extra large condoms.
2) The average man is 5 inches long when erect (no matter
what you have heard ladies, that's the truth). Incidentally
the average vaginal capacity is only 6 inches, for you women
who think you can handle king dong.
3) 80% of American men are circumcised. It's healthier.
4) No matter what all the ads say, nothing can make your
penis grow but time (most men reach the end of their growth
by the early 20's)
5) There is no correlation between penis size and shoe size,
hand size, or nose size.
6) Blue balls does exist! It's technically called "prostatic
congestion."
7) Only 16% of men shave their privates.
Women
1) Only 9% of women around the globe consider themselves
"attractive" (20% of British women do). 43% of women use
the term "natural", 24% say they have "average" looks,
8% prefer the term "feminine", 7% say they are "good
looking", and 7% say they are "cute", and finally only
2% of women say they are "sexy".
2) An estimated 85% of women wear the wrong size bra.
3) 60% of women have had breast implants (this seems
ridiculously high)
4) 75% of women like giving/getting oral sex.
5) 95% of women shave their pussies...I mean privates.
Statistically,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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In a local sports bar trivia quiz the other night, I lost by
one point. The question was, where do women mostly have curly
hair? Apparently, the answer is Africa.
A young couple get married. As the husband is an avid
golfer, the wife decides to take up golf so she can spend
more time with him.
Knowing nothing about it, she goes to the pro for lessons.
The pro was busy and advised her to get a bucket of balls
and practice until he was through with his present client.
"But I don't even know how to hold the clubs" The pro says,
"Just hold it like you would your husband's penis."
Some time later, the pro approaches the driving range to
see the woman driving the ball a fair distance. He says,
"Not bad, but lets take the club out of your mouth."
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So today at work some guy calls and asks, "Are you Mexican
or Italian?"
I replied, "Sir, I'm white."
Then he says, "Not you, the restaurant."
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*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
***************************************************
1. She is not a "BABE "or a "CHICK" - She is a
"BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is
"VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED
DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-
ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets
"CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is
"MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
10. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS: - She is
"PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
11. She is not a "TWO-BIT WHORE" - She is a "LOW COST
PROVIDER.
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com