Thursday, May 19, 2011

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Man, there is a lice breakout at my daughter?s middle school.
WTF? They checked kids with the last names starting with 'A'
to 'C' and found nearly 30 cases of lice.

My wife called the school to see if they would be closing to
exterminate, and the lady said, 'Oh, no. It's not that bad.'

It's not that bad? It's not that bad? When was the last time
you had to deal with a kid with lice? It blows dog. The
shampooing, the combing, the crying, the teasing, the 'get
the fuck away from me you lice infected scumbag' ing.

"I'm sorry but 30 cases in such a small sample group is a
lot," I heard my wife say.

Then my wife looked at the phone incredulously and put it
down.

"What?" I said.

"She hung up on me."

"Really?"

"Yes. She said, 'Thank you for calling. We are checking more
kids today and if your child has it we will call you to come
pick her up. Thank you.'"

"Well, at least she said 'Thank you' twice."

Exterminatingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com



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"A police officer in San Francisco was busted for running a
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The blind daters had really hit it off and, at the end of
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A young Jewish man falls in love with a Native American woman
and they decide to get married. When his mother hears the
news, however, she is extremely distressed because she wanted
him to marry a nice Jewish girl. When she hears that not only
is he marrying this Native American girl but has decided to
live with her on the reservation, the mother becomes so upset
that she refuses to even speak to the boy, practically dis-
owning him.

After a year, the son telephones the mother to tell her that
he and his wife are expecting a child. The mother is happy
for him, but there is still quite a bit of tension in the air.

Nine months later, the son calls the mother again. "Mom," he
says, "I just wanted you to know that last night my wife gave
birth to a healthy baby boy. I also wanted to tell you that
we've talked it over and we have decided to give the boy a
Jewish name."

Upon hearing this, the mother is overjoyed. "Oh son, this is
wonderful," she gushes. "I've been waiting for this moment
all my life. You have made me the happiest woman in the
world."

"That's great, Mom," replies the son.

"And what," asks the mother, "is the baby's name?"

The son proudly replies, "Smoked Whitefish!"


Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com