Thursday, October 3, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,


TZ, If you intend to keep selling items to some of us you need to keep your liberal political opinions to yourself. Why don't you ask yourself instead why the democrat controlled Senate hasn't passed a budget since before 2009? These CRs wouldn't be necessary if they'd just pass a budget and stick to it. Conservatively, Carolyn


While I appreciate you comments Carolyn, I wouldn't exactly call myself a liberal. I am very liberal in certain things, social issues for example.

I am a strong supporter of gay marriage, especially if both chicks are hot.

I believe in environmental regulation and regulation of financial institutions.

On the other hand I believe in a free Internet, barely legal Asian porno and tax beaks for strippers.

So there you have a few basics of TZ's social agenda.

Democratically,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"Scientists in Italy say that the Leaning Tower of Pisa is slowly getting straighter. Yeah, engineers could tell when it stopped listening to Cher." -Jimmy Fallon



A woman calls her lawyer and asks... "With all the lawsuits going on, I want to get in on some of that action. I hear people are suing cigarette companies because they got cancer and others are suing McDonalds because they got fat."

"And which one of those categories do you fit under?"

"Neither," says the women. "I just want to know if I can sue Budweiser for all the ugly men I've slept with."



"Justin Bieber was spotted in China on the shoulders of two of his bodyguards. People in China kept asking, 'Why isn't that little girl at the factory?'" -Conan O'Brien



A kindergarten class was given a homework assignment to find out something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.

When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy the teacher called on walked up to the front of the class. He picked up a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down.

Puzzled, the teacher asked him what it was.

"It's a period," he replied.

"I can see that," said the teacher, "but what is so exciting about a period?"

"Darned if I know," said the boy, "but yesterday my sister was missing one, Mom fainted, Dad had a heart attack, and the boy next door joined the Navy."