Monday, March 25, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,

After last week's issue about S.H.I.T. I received a lot of 'shit' from readers. Following is a good example...


Stow High In Transit is one of the biggest pieces of crap I've ever read. See below... -Thomas

"The word shit entered the modern English language via having been derived from the Old English nouns 'scite' and the Middle Low German 'schite' both meaning dung. Scite can trace its roots back to the proto-Germanic root skit-, which brought us the German scheisse. Skit- comes from the Indo-European root 'skheid-' for split, divide, separate, thus shit is distantly related to schism and schist."


Oh yeah, that was a lot funnier than what I printed last week. Listen, when I want an etymology lesson I'll call your mom...you know, because she's got good oral skills.

Etymologically,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"There's a new dating site aimed at matching up women who like to travel with men willing to pay for their trips. It's part of a new dating trend called prostitution." -Jimmy Fallon



After I performed a simple medical procedure on my patient, I warned her, "After this, you can't have sex for at least three days."

"Did you hear that?" she asked her husband. "No sex for three days."

"I heard," he said. "But she was talking to you."



What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.



Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple-a bambinos."

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with anudder man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'time's up'?"