Thursday, November 25, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
Frequently I have the Thanksgiving weekend to myself because
my wife loads up the kids and goes down to visit her kin. But
this year she broke with tradition and said, "Wouldn't it be
fun to host Thanksgiving this year?"
I said, "If we host my family, then yes. If we host your
family, then no. If we host both, then fuck no."
That was two weeks ago and Tugboat TZ hasn't pulled into Tuna-
town since.
No pussy before hosting a big holiday is not a good thing for
a man. He starts to get goofy ideas like, 'I wonder if my
mother-in-law ever had a thumb up her ass?' or 'My recently
divorced cousin is giving me the eye--what is the exact
definition of incest and how big a sin is it?'
So ladies, don't do your man ugly during the holidays. Treat
him nice so that the only thing he's thinking about is that
goofy look on your face when you get off.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Celebratingly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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"A company in San Francisco is coming out with 'gluttony
pants' specifically designed for overeating. Or, as Americans
call them, 'pants.' -Conan O'Brien
Spanish singer Julio Iglesias was on television with British
TV host Anne Diamond when he used the Spanish word "manana"
(manyana). Diamond asked him to explain what it meant. He
said that the term means, "Maybe the job will be done tomor-
row, maybe the next day, maybe the day after that. Perhaps
next week, next month, next year who cares?"
The host turned to Irishman Shay Brennan who was also on the
show and asked him if there was an equivalent term in Irish.
"No. In Ireland we don't have a word to describe that degree
of urgency."
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"The TSA has issued some special packing tips for travelers
before Thanksgiving weekend. They say not to bring food,
sharp tools, or any shred of dignity." -Jimmy Fallon
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Our friends, James and Florence, attend choir practice
Wednesday evenings, and often head for a restaurant
afterwards with their fellow choir members.
Florence soon noticed that every time she had a glass of
wine, it was followed by a severe migraine headache. James
agreed with her that it might be better if she abstained,
and so she did.
On one post choir occasion, however, Florence decided, after
some hesitation, to try a different variety of wine. Some
time passed with no consequences.
Then she waved happily across the big table where her col-
leagues all sat and while holding up the empty wine glass
announced in a loud voice, "James! I don't have a headache
tonight!"
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com