Thursday, August 13, 2015

Greetings Laff Lovers,


TZ don't change anything. If any changes are made, get rauncher. I have been reading you for quite a while and have always enjoyed your articles. If someone doesn't like you there is always the unsubscribe button. Keep it up (or down). -David J.

[You're pretty willing to give away my subscribers! Without a subscriber list who is going to buy all of the wonderful products we advertise on PulseTV.com?]



Dear TZ; I don't care what they say, you are truly the Best. do not change. hey, how did that older joke of yours go.....the one about the kid who has a substitute teacher....she tells the class her name....she's back the next day, asking the kids what her name was. and the punchline is some kid calls her Miss Crunt. how did that go? -EJ

[The substitute teacher's name is Miss Prussy, and she cautioned the class NOT to forget the 'r' in her name because some little boys with dirty minds like to call her by a naughty nickname. The next day she asks the class if everyone remembers her name, and of course, little Johnny raises his hand and answers Miss Crunt. It's funny that joke should stick in your head. Usually that kind of juvenile humor only appeals to delinquents.]


Classically,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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The government will be requiring new food labels that are more specific. Products will now be labeled, no fat, low fat, reduced fat and fat, but great personality.



I was badly attacked by a woman in an elevator. I was in the elevator when she got in.

I was casually staring at her big, jiggly boobs when she said, "Would you please press '1'?"

So I did... and I don't remember much afterwards, but I guess I pressed the wrong one!



"A new study found that heavy drinkers outlive non-drinkers, but the ways they die are a lot more embarrassing." -Jimmy Fallon



Someone asked me, "Now that you´re retired, do you still have a job?"

I replied, "Yes I am my wife's sexual adviser."

Somewhat shocked, they said, "I beg your pardon, but what do you mean by that?"

"Very simple. The wife has told me that when she wants my fucking advice, she'll ask me for it."