Thursday, March 7, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I had all but finalized my decision to buy a handgun when I read the joke at the bottom of the page today.

Of course, my wife doesn't hike, and we don't spend any more time in Canada than we have to, and I have never even seen a bear outside of a zoo, but being the self-absorbed prick that I am, sometimes my wife loses even her saintly patience with me, and she wouldn't need a situation like the one described below for an excuse to be waiting for me at home with my own gun in her hand.

It would be just like the scene in the movie "Goodfellas" when Ray Liotta wakes up to see Lorraine Bracco pointing his revolver in his face.

Although in my case it wouldn't be because I was running around with some bimbo, it would be because I was discussing her menstrual unpleasantness with 50,000 strangers on the Internet, or something similar.

Women can be so touchy.

Inconsiderately,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

P.S. EVTV1 is back and better than ever! This video portal was created to weed through the online clutter to bring you the best animal video clips...funniest videos...most popular...PLUS the most unusual. New videos are added daily!



"A fitness instructor in Maine has been charged with running a prostitution business out of her Zumba dance studio. Authorities first got suspicious when they saw guys going to work out at a Zumba dance studio." -Jay Leno



I went to a nice, local restaurant/bar with my girlfriend last night. But the regulars were shouting "pedophile!" and other terrible names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50.

It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.



My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."



Woman Stops Grizzly Attack with a .25 Caliber Pistol

A story of one woman's self-control and marksmanship with a little .25 cal. against a fierce predator.

"While out hiking in Alberta Canada with my husband we were surprised by a huge grizzly bear charging at us from out of nowhere. She must have been protecting her cubs because she was extremely aggressive," the woman recalled. "If I had not had my little .25 caliber Beretta with me I would not be here today!

"Just one shot to my husband's knee was all it took. The bear got him and I was able to escape by walking away. It's one of the best pistols in my collection!"