Thursday, May 12, 2011

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I just read about a medical study which said that having
frequent sex decreases your chances of getting a cold. The
more sex you have, the less chance you'll have a cold.
Something to do with boosting your red blood cells.

This is exactly the kind of thing I love to read. The gov-
ernment should be subsidizing this kind of research.

So I printed the article out. I can't wait until the next
time my wife sniffles or sneezes. I'll be able to say,
"Honey, I've got just the thing for that."

Home-remedying-ly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com



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"A TSA screener in Kansas City is facing criticism for giving
a pat-down to an 8-month-old baby. You don't pat down a baby!
You stick him in a tray and run him through the X-ray machine."
-Jimmy Fallon



A friend and her husband were participating in a blood drive,
and as part of the prescreening process, an elderly volunteer
was asking some questions. "Have you ever paid for sex?" the
woman asked my friend's husband sweetly.

Glancing wearily over at his wife, trying to calm a new baby
and tend to the other children milling around her, he sighed,
"Every time."



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"CBS has offered Charlie Sheen's role on 'Two and a Half Men'
to Hugh Grant. I wonder what the thought process was there:
'Where can we find another actor who has been busted with
hookers?'" -Jimmy Kimmel


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As I Mature
***********

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and
give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about
fifteen minutes,
After that you better have a huge schlong.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting,
long after you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do,
unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a
relationship is at first,
the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of
money to take its place!

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't
working in your house,
one of your kids did it.

I've learned that the people you care most about
in life are taken from you too soon,
and all the less important ones just never go away.


Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com