Thursday, December 27, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Working in an office is not conducive to health. 200 years ago we lived an agrarian lifestyle that was filled with hard work that kept a man lean, strong and healthy. Today we sit on our asses and watch them expand.

So people go out running, or lift weights or jump around to get in shape. Can you imagine if your great, great, grandfather saw you outside running at 6 in the morning?

I'm sure he'd say something like this: "Hey, Marge, have you seen this guy outside running?"

"Yes, dear, he does that every morning."

"Where does he go?"

"Just round and round the farm."

"Is he mental?"

"Must be."

"Maybe he was hit in the head and lost his mind?"

"Could be."

"Does he ever come back carrying anything?"

"No, he just comes back all sweaty and collapses on the porch."

"Poor dumb bastard."

"Sure is."

Sedentarily,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"Same-sex marriage would have men married to men and women married to women. Well, who complains about the credit card bill and who says, "Well, you want me to look nice, don't you?" And who writes the thank-you notes and who just signs their name?" -Dave Letterman



A friend and her husband were participating in a blood drive, and as part of the prescreening process, an elderly volunteer was asking some questions. "Have you ever paid for sex?" the woman asked my friend's husband sweetly.

Glancing wearily over at his wife, trying to calm a new baby and tend to the other children milling around her, he sighed, "Every time."



"For the first time ever, scientists have created artificial life. The hope is that it can revolutionize healthcare, generate clean energy, become super-intelligent, take over the world, make us all its slaves, etc." -Jimmy Kimmel



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An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.

They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.

'I would like it infrequently' she replied.

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered, 'Is that one word or two?'