Monday, August 27, 2012

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I saw our customer service manager, who is what you might call amply endowed (she has giant, jiggly hooters), walking back to her desk from the kitchen with a plate in each hand and a cup balanced precariously between her boobs.

"Wow," I commented, "having big boobs is just like having a third hand."

She looked at me, then down at her boobs when the light of understanding finally dawned on her face.

"Oh, yeah," she agreed. "At least they're good for something, but wouldn't it be more like having four hands?"

"Four? No. Not unless you can hold something with one boob. But if your boobs do have to ability to grip something independently you are going to go down in the Guinness Book Of World Records. And you're going to get a raise."

Appreciatively,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

P.S. Looking for money-savings tips, information helpful to women, and some good-natured fun? If so, take a moment or two and check out the Mommy Blogroll to the right and visit some of the best "Mommy Blogs" online.



"A seventh grade teacher in California was arrested for teaching while drunk. Which is why an entire Earth Science class now thinks hurricanes are formed when rum collides with lime juice, passion fruit, and crushed ice in a hot pink souvenir cup from Senor Frog's." -Jimmy Fallon



I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating.

I asked why. She said, "Because I am trying to examine you!"



A blonde drops off a shirt at the cleaners... On the way out the door, the lady at the counter says "Come Again."

The blonde turns and says, "No, it's toothpaste this time you nosey bitch!"



*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. THE Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's 91 cents! (plus s&h). For more info or to order visit: THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ



ADULT SEX QUIZ

Q.) What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A.) Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs, or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.

Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.

Q.) What's the speed limit of sex?
A.) 68 because at 69 you have to turn around.

Q.) What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A.) The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A.) "Is it in?"

Q.) What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A.) A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A.) One of his fingers is clean.

Q.) What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
A.) Melt them down make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q.) What do bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A.) They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.