Sunday, March 6, 2016
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I walked in on the wife the other day struggling with the ironing board. She usually keeps it folded up and out of the way behind the laundry room door and then pulls it out on the rare occasion something actually needs ironing, like one of my dress shirts or a blouse she's planning on wearing.
She was pulling and yanking on the thing when she saw me and declared, "TZ, you need to go out and buy me a new ironing board. It's almost impossible to get this thing's legs open."
"Now you know what I have to deal with," I responded.
"What was that?" she shot back.
"I said, 'I'll go right after dinner.'"
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"The newest issue of Playboy does not feature any full-frontal nudity and instead focuses on social media. So be sure to pick up the final issue of Playboy." -Conan O'Brien
A comedian is sitting at the bar of a comedy club late one night when a beautiful woman comes up to him and says, "I saw you perform tonight, and you're the funniest guy I've ever seen. I want to take you home and give you the hottest night of sex you're ever had."
The comedian looks at her and says, "Did you see the first show or the second show?"
"Facebook has launched new alternatives that go beyond its trademark 'like' button. Now there are five new buttons. There's 'love,' 'haha,' 'wow,' 'sad' and 'angry.' I still have no idea which one of those feels appropriate when my friend posts that her cat has feline AIDS." -James Corden
You pick up a hitchhiker... A beautiful girl. Suddenly, she faints inside your truck and you take her to the hospital.
Now that's stressful.
But at the hospital, they say she is pregnant and congratulate you that you're going to be a father. You say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are.
This is getting very stressful!
You request a DNA test to prove that you are not the father. After the tests are completed, The doctor says the test shows you're infertile, And probably have been since birth.
You're extremely stressed but relieved.
On your way back home, you think about your 5 kids at home.
Now that's STRESS!