Sunday, September 11, 2016
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I was playing golf with a friend of my the other day and he was telling me about how his father-in-law had died and how his wife was really busted up about it.
"I'm trying to be as supportive as I can, TZ," he said, "but the old man died almost a month ago and she is still depressed about it."
"Well, sometimes these kinds of things take time. Let her grieve for crying out loud."
"I've got no problem with grieving, but like I said, it's been almost a month and, and..."
"Oh, I understand," I interrupted. "You want to know how long before you can climb back into the old saddle."
"Yeah, that's it."
"There is no definitive answer," I said. "Could be weeks, or it could be months. My suggestion is learn how to fuck your wife while she's crying.
"Take it from me, you get used to it pretty quick."
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If you wife or girlfriend ever asks, 'If I was to arrange a threesome for your birthday, which of my friends would you pick to join in?'
Never give two names.
The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning.
I said to her, "If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff."
"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked.
"I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don't want some other asshole using my stuff."
She looked at me and said: "What makes you think I'd marry another asshole?"
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
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