Thursday, May 21, 2015

Greetings Laff Lovers,

This coming Monday is Memorial Day. It is a day to remember the men and women who have died in the military service, but most everybody uses the three-day weekend as the unofficial kick-off to summer.

I have hosted my fair share of barbecue parties over past Memorial Day weekends. I can't tell you how many slavering, voracious moochers I have fed over the years; family, friends, neighbors, more family. It seems like whenever there is free food the family comes out of the woodwork.

But this year I get a break. Me, the wife and even the kids got invited over to a friend's house this weekend and he is planning to put out quite a spread, from what he tells me.

And better yet, his wife is pretty sexy, and if the weather gets hot enough I might get to see her in a bikini top. That would really fill in a few gaps in some of my fantasy scenarios.

Personal note: make sure the wife's email address is deleted from the subscriber list.

RSVP-ingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives



These two guys go to a whorehouse.

The first guy goes in then comes out and says, "My wife is better."

The second guy goes in then comes out and says, "You know what? Your wife IS better."



Bella was terribly upset. Her fiance, Marvin, had been to a clinical psychologist, and the results were not entirely consoling.

She said to her mother, "I'm not sure the marriage would be happy, Ma. The psychologist says Marvin tests out to have a pronounced Oedipus complex."

Her mother shrugged and said, "Don't listen to that fancy talk. I've watched Marvin and I tell you he's all right. Just look how much he loves his mother."



A husband and wife were sitting watching TV. He turned to his wife and said... "Here's a riddle for you, Honey. Can you tell me something that will make me happy and sad, all at the same time?"

She said, "You have the Biggest Dick of all your Friends."



A teacher asks her class to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, "Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious."

"Very good," says the teacher. "Would anyone else like to try?"

Little Johnny raises his hand and stands to give his answer. "Our next door neighbor was painting her house by hand, and my dad said it would take the contagious."