Thursday, April 28, 2016
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I just read that the Target chain of stores has made it corporate policy that all of the restrooms in all of their stores will now be all sex. This is to accommodate people who might have an issue with choosing male or female. Like people who are transsexual, or who identify as transsexual, or people who just enjoy the soft, silky feel of a bra and panties rubbing up against their junk underneath their dirty t-shirts and jeans.
Not surprisingly, this has generated a bit of a backlash from the kind of people who care about this kind of shit.
Close to a million people have signed an online petition to boycott Target over their new 'Who Can Poo and Pee Where' policy.
Although I'm not sure how much of an impact this will really have on Target. Just because someone signs an online petition not to shop at Target, doesn't necessarily mean he or she will actually follow through with it. I mean, it's not like anybody is going to follow up to see if Bubby Gump from 'Leezeeana' is now buying his toilet paper and pork rinds from WalMart instead of Target.
But the practical consequence is that if you need to take your little daughter into one of the stalls in a Target bathroom there is now a chance that the pair of pumps peeking out from underneath the next stall belong to a dude who may or may not be spanking it.
And I can understand how that might make some parents uncomfortable.
On the other hand, if you get off on watching women pee, you can do that now.
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: firstname.lastname@example.org
P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives
"A motel owner in Colorado revealed that he spent 29 years watching his customers have sex. He finally stopped when he got cable." -Conan O'Brien
So I hear Chicago has a soccer team named the Chicago Fire. That's pretty cool, naming a team after the worst disaster in their city's history. That takes balls. You don't see any other cities doing that. You don't see the New Orleans Katrina's. Or the Boston Massacres. Or the Oklahoma City Bombings. Or the New York Jets. Wait a second...
"Over the weekend, Hillary Clinton called Donald Trump a loose cannon and said, 'Loose cannons tend to misfire.' Trump was like, 'My cannon works just fine, I guarantee you, there's no problem. I've already discussed this.'" -Jimmy Fallon
"The thrill is gone from my marriage," one buddy told another.
"Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?"
"But what if my wife finds out?"
"Heck, this is a new age we live in. Go ahead and tell her about it!"
So the guy went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together."
"Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried that so many times and it never worked."