Thursday, February 13, 2014

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I remember the first Valentine's Day that my wife and I were married. I bought her lingerie and an expensive bottle of perfume and took her downtown for dinner.

This Friday I have something slightly less ambitious planned, like finally replacing the ballcock in the master bathroom toilet. You know I read somewhere that between married couples doing chores is a form of foreplay. If that is true then a ballcock replacement should at least earn some attention for my balls and cock.

Handily,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"There's a pillow shortage in Sochi too. They don't have enough pillows for the beds. How do you not foresee a demand for pillows? Although in their defense it is Russia. When you sleep wherever you happen to pass out, pillows aren't so important." -Jimmy Kimmel



Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!"

Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut."

Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mom asked, "Really small, was it?"

Sally replied, "No, Salty."

Mom Fainted.



"A Los Angeles newscaster had to apologize to Samuel L. Jackson for mistaking him for Laurence Fishburne. Yeah, he said 'I'm sorry, but everybody makes mistakes, even our great president, Morgan Freeman.'" -Conan O'Brien



A man was going door-to-door doing a sexual survey when he walked up to one man's door, "Excuse me, Sir, how many times a week do you sleep with your wife?"

"Three times," the man said without hesitation.

"Hmm, that is once more often than your neighbor," the survey taker said, making a note.

"That makes sense," the man replied, "after all, she is MY wife."