Thursday, December 25, 2014

Greetings Laff Lovers,

A happy holiday to all of my faithful readers, and even the unfaithful readers who only ever open one or two issues of Laff-a-Day a year and never buy anything from our online store. It's not like I have a wife and kids to feed, so go ahead and continue shopping at the Dollar Store.

Where was I? Oh, yes, Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year as well. It was a long year, but successful, thanks to you. You are the reason we are here and don't think I don't know it!

Appreciatively,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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My wife has this red 'Christmas' lingerie with faux fur around the neck and cuffs and it comes with a little Santa hat.

"I hate this outfit," I said when she walked into the room.

She replied, "Then why are you wearing it?"



"Everybody celebrates holidays differently. This year many people are traveling to theme parks. They're going to events like Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party and the Dr. Seuss-inspired Grinchmas Who-liday Spectacular. And of course, the most popular event - go play while mommy and daddy drink." -Jimmy Fallon



This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, 'Mom, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?'

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases also.

'In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree.'

'A Christmas tree?'

'Yes --- dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.'



A bakery owner hires a young female shop assistant who liked to wear very short skirts and thong panties.

One day a young man enters the store, glances at the shop assistant and at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing her short skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea. "I'd like some raisin bread please," the man says.

The shop assistant nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread located on the very top shelf. The man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he thought.

When she descends the ladder, he decides that he had better get two loaves. As the shop assistant retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what's going on and requests his own loaf of raisin bread.

After many trips she is tired and irritated and begins to wonder, "Why the unusual interest in the raisin bread?"

Atop the ladder one more time, she looks down and glares at the men standing below. Then, she notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd. Thinking that she can save herself another trip, she yells at the elderly man, "Is it raisin for you too?"

"No," he stammers, "But it's quiverin' a little."