Monday, December 3, 2012Greetings Laff Lovers,
The wife must be ovulating. She came out of the bathroom last night and announced with a purr, "TeeeeZeeee...I just shaved my pussy. Do you know what that means?"
"Yeah," I answered, not looking up from my Golf Digest, "the fucking drain in the bathtub is plugged up again."
I-have-a-headache-ly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link:
tz@gophercentral.comP.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just click here and hit the like button...
'Like' Deal of the Day HereA survey ran by The Irish Institute of Women's Rights based in Shannon, Ireland found that over 92 percent of the women suffering from spousal abuse had one factor in common: None of them knew when to shut the fuck up.
On the first day of the school term the shop teacher was surprised to see a rather proper-looking young lady sitting in the front row of his classroom. Her name was Emily and she was the only girl to sign up for the woodwork class.
The bemused teacher asked her if she was sure she was in the right class. Emily assured him that she was.
The teacher, still somewhat puzzled, added, "This course may be a bit out of your league. Do you have any experience at all working with tools?"
"What exactly do you mean?" Emily asked.
"Well, for example, do you know the difference between a nail, a screw and a bolt?" the teacher expounded.
After pondering for a moment, Emily admitted, "I can't really say, since I've never been 'bolted'."
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.
*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***It's Available.
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THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZPierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine.
It's a beautiful day and love is in the air.
Marie leans over to Pierre and says, 'Pierre, kiss me!'
Pierre grabs a bottle of Merlot and splashes it on Marie's lips.
'What are you doing, Pierre?' says the startled Marie.
'I am Pierre, French fighter pilot! When I have red meat, I have red wine!' She smiles and they start kissing.
Things began to heat up a little and Marie says, 'Pierre, kiss me lower.'
Our hero tears her blouse open, grabs a bottle of Chardonnay and pours it on her breasts. ' Pierre ! Pierre ! What are you doing now?' asks the bewildered Marie.
'I am Pierre, French fighter pilot! When I have white meat, I have white wine!' She giggles and they resume their passionate interlude.
Marie then leans close to his ear and whispers, 'Pierre, kiss me, kiss me much lower!'
Pierre rips off her underwear, grabs a bottle of Cognac and pours it on her pubes...
He then strikes a match and sets the cognac on fire. Marie shrieks and dives into the River Seine.
Standing waist deep, Marie throws her arms into the air and screams furiously, 'PIERRE, WHAT IN HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?'
Our 'hero' stands and shouts defiantly, 'I am Pierre, French fighter pilot! If I go down, I go down in flames!'