Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Greetings Laff Lovers,


Dear TZ, Women might get two fingers shoved up their snatch once a year but you men get a finger stuck up your ass once a year and since that's where your G spot is. Apparently men get the better deal. -Kathy Davis


It is? Huh! My wife must have small fingers.

Short changedly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com



"A group of unpaid interns are suing a film company for not teaching them anything. The film company said they did teach them something: Show business is about screwing people over." -Conan O'Brien



Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers please."

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on holiday, lads?"

"Off to England next month," says John. "We go to England every year, hire a car, and drive for miles, don't we, Jim?" Jim agrees.

"Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful Country...the history, the beer, the culture..."

"Nah, we don't like that British crap," says John. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh, Jim? And we can't stand the English; they're so arrogant and rude, not civil and polite like us Canadians."

"So why keep going to England?" asks the bartender.

"It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."



When I see an emo kid, I like to tickle them until they are laughing and smiling, then hug them close and whisper: 'No one will ever love you.'



*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. THE Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's 91 cents! (plus s&h). For more info or to order visit: THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ



Now there's a question you don't get too often. A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door...

She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there. He asks the lady, "Do you have a vagina?"

She slams the door in disgust.

The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man and he asks the same question of the woman, "Do you have a vagina?"

She slams the door again.

Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days. The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice, "Honey, I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again."

The next morning they hear a knock and both run for the door. The husband says to the wife in a whisper, "Honey, I'm going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer 'yes' because I want to see where he is going with it." She nods and opens the door.

Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question, "Do you have vagina?"

"Yes," she says.

The man replies, "Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours?"