Sunday, January 11, 2015

Greetings Laff Lovers,

The company is going to a Chicago Bulls game this weekend (yesterday, actually, from your point of view). It started a couple months ago as a few people deciding to go together, then a few more people decided to go, then a few more. Then, the boss startled everybody by offering to pay for a suite! So I figured if the apeman himself, who'd pawn his own mother for a wedge of moldy cheese, was going to lay out that kind of dough I might as well go along too.

There are so many of us going we even rented a bus to take us back and forth from the game. It should be quite an adventure...especially since we have hired a bunch of young women recently (well, young to me) and who knows how they will react in a social situation with the likes of me...or rather...who knows how I will react in a social situation with a bunch of young women. I haven't rubbed elbows (or anything else, for that matter) with a bunch of attractive young women in 15 years.

Suddenly I'm feeling kind of nervous.

Anxiously,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"These two guys are now trying to clone human genes into cows, so that you'd get cows that would give human milk. Or maybe you'd get girls with four really big tits. I'm sure they think, 'Either way, big improvement.'" -Cathryn Michon



Mother is in the kitchen making supper for her family when her youngest daughter walks in.

Child: Mother, where do babies come from?

Mom: Well dear...a mommy and daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their room...they kiss and hug and have sex. (The daughter looks puzzled.)

That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy's vagina. That's how you get a baby, honey.

Child: Oh I see, but last night when I came into you and daddy's room you had daddy's penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?

Mom: Jewelry, dear.



Q: What's the difference between a woman and a computer?
A: A computer only needs the information punched into it once.


Q: Did you hear about the guy who's a dyslexic-bulimic?
A: He eats, and then he sticks his finger up his ass.



"The thrill is gone from my marriage," one buddy told another.

"Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?"

"But what if my wife finds out?"

"Heck, this is a new age we live in. Go ahead and tell her about it!"

So the guy went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together."

"Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried that so many times and it never worked."