Thursday, January 17, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,

If anything I am an artisan. A craftsman, you might say, who is constantly striving for excellence. So frequently, before I mail out my dick jokes, I will test them out on the women in the office to make sure they are funny.

I did so with the "memory stick" joke in today's issue and was met with shock, disgust and even anger.

"That is extremely inappropriate, TZ," one of them said. "Jokes like that trivialize a living nightmare that thousands of women suffer through every day."

"Sheesh," I scoffed, shaking my head, "As soon as I mention battery and domestic violence you bitches lose it. You need to learn to roll with the punches...err...grow a thicker skin...I mean...take a joke."

Bombingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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I bought the wife a Memory Stick, it's great!

She hasn't forgotten my beer, dinner or sex once since the first beating.



A young couple, on the brink of divorce, visits a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife, "What's the problem?"

She says, "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation."

The counsellor turns to her husband and inquires, "Is that true?"

The husband replies, "Well not exactly, she's the one that suffers, not me."



A young boy with diarrhea approaches his mom and asks for some Viagra.

Mom says, "Viagra? Why in the world do you want that?"

The boy replies, "Isn't that what you give Dad when his shit won't get hard?"



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Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.

One evening, after the honeymoon, he was organizing his golfing equipment. His wife was standing nearby watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally speaks. "Honey, I've been thinking, now that we're married maybe it's time you quit golfing. You spend so much time on the course. You could probably get a good price for your clubs."

Tim gets this horrified look on his face.

She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"

"For a minute there you were sounding like my ex-wife."

"Ex wife!" she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"

"I wasn't," he replied.