Monday, January 27, 2014

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I think I committed a sin this weekend, but I'm not sure. Say you're sitting in church and you see a woman that gets you sexually aroused. Is it wrong to masturbate while thinking about her?

In the church's lavatory?

Hypothetically,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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I was walking up to my apartment building today and saw my Afghani neighbor, Abdul, standing on his fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.

I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"



My brother-in-law and I were fishing, not having any luck when he told me to row faster. I rowed and rowed when all of a sudden both oars snapped right in half.

Stranded my brother-in-law said, "What now dipshit?"

"Don't worry. Somebody is going to come by." I answered.

Just then around a corner came an Englishman and two ladies with parasols. I yelled out, "Could I borrow one of your oars?"

The Englishmen said, "Them's not oars! One's me wife and the other's me sister."



During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says, "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble."

The woman starts taking off her underwear but is interrupted by the doctor, "No, no! Don't remove your clothes. Just stick out your tongue!"



Bob, an undertaker, came home with a black eye.

"What happened to you?" asked his wife.

"I had a terrible day," replied Bob. "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag because he had this huge erection.

"Anyway, I went up and, sure enough, there was the big naked guy lying on the bed with this huge erection. So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half."

"I see," said his wife, "that must have been awful, but how did you get the black eye?"

"Wrong fucking room."