Thursday, August 22, 2013

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I just read that Bradley Manning, the Army private sentenced to military prison for leaking classified documents, revealed he intends to live out the remainder of his life as a woman.

I even saw a picture of him on the Internets dressed in drag.

My question is; what kind of emotional basket cases are they accepting into sensitive positions in the armed forces?

This fruit basket wants to call himself 'Chelsea' and take hormone therapy! Sounds like the kind of well-balanced, emotionally grounded and focused individual you want in a high-stress, sensitive military position.

Well, at least he'll be popular while he's in the can.

You know, I should have gone into the military. If the army if recruiting guys like this I would have been a freaking colonel by now.

Militarily,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"A brewery in Japan has introduced a beer made from elephant dung. How do you market something like that? 'I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I make sure it comes from an elephant's butt.'" -Craig Ferguson



TZ, Your joke about Schwartz reminds me of another great oldie: --R.S.R.

Q: What has 2 legs and screws cats?
A: Mrs. Katz ... and sometimes Mrs. Nussbaum!



"So you have your regular Oreos and they have Double Stuf Oreos. Somebody measured the things, and it turns out there is not twice the amount of stuff as in the regular Oreos. Now if you are at home measuring stuff in an Oreo, you should take a long, hard look at your life." -Dave Letterman



"TZ, here is a favorite joke of mine that I think you might appreciate. I haven't seen it in your email before." -david


This guy and his wife are getting it on in the bedroom when he has a heart attack and dies. The next day the mortician calls the widow up and says, "Mam, your husband still has a hard on. It won't look right in an open casket. What do you want me to do about it?"

She says bluntly, "Well, cut it off and stick it up his ass."

The mortician asks, "Mam, did I hear you right? Did you say cut it off and stick it up his ass?"

She replies, "You heard me right sir."

So later that week at the man's funeral all his friends and colleagues were there and one of them noticed some moisture that looked just like a tear in the corner of the man's eye. They then brought their concerns to the widow who simply replied, "Oh don't worry about a thing, everything's fine."

And after a short while when the lid was slowly being lowered for the last time, the widow bends slightly towards the man for her last words to him and she whispers, "Hurts, don't it?"


[Let me guess, Dave, your wife won't take it up the ass?]