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Thursday, June 2, 2016

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I came across (heh heh) an article recently called Nine Surprising Facts About Breasts You Probably Didn't Know. As it turned out, most of the facts were not that surprising at all and I did know them.

Facts like; breasts are asymmetrical, some more than others. Usually the right breast is larger than the left. Or that pregnancy (and smoking) can cause breasts to sag. No news flash there.

One thing I always kind of assumed, but didn't know there was empirical evidence for, is that both men AND women tend to stare at breasts.

According to a study where women and men were fitted with an eye-tracking device, both were found to look at a woman's boobs instead of her face, but men do it for longer. So women boob-watch too, but they're just quicker about it.

But the one 'fact' that threw me for a loop is that, apparently, some women can orgasm from breast stimulation alone!

Two high-profile sex educators conducted an in-depth study for their book entitled 'I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide', and they reported that 1 percent of the women in their research told them they could orgasm just from playing with their tits!

This was news to me. I know that almost all women can orgasm from clitoral stimulation, and a lot of women can cum from vaginal stimulation (usually supplemented with a little clit action), and if you can believe hard-core porn, it is even possible for a woman to cum from anal stimulation.

But the sweater puppies? I've never heard of such a thing.

So I feel like I have an obligation to do a little personal research. If only for my wife's sake. I have had to rely on the same old tricks to get her off for over 20 years. If I can find a new key to unlock the same door, I think she deserves it.

Now let's see, what will I need; ice maybe? Clothes pins? Candle wax? Finger paints? I'm really at kind of a loss here.

If any ladies have any ideas (if any are still subscribed to this list), please help a poor, lost soul out.

What is the best way to stimulate my wife's breasts?



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"The company that makes products for Apple and Samsung in Asia has reportedly replaced 60,000 factory workers with robots. Just to keep it authentic, they're all child robots." -Jimmy Fallon

Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.

1st Hillbilly says: "My wife sure is stupid, she bought an air conditioner."

2nd Hillbilly says: "Why is that stupid?"

1st Hillbilly says: "We ain't got no 'lectricity!"

2nd Hillbilly says: "That's nothing, my wife is so stupid, she bought one of them new-fangled warshin' machines!"

1st Hillbilly says: "Why is that so stupid?"

2nd Hillbilly says: "'Cause we ain't got no plummin'"

3rd Hillbilly says: "That ain't nuthin'! My wife is dumber than both yer wives put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin' fer some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar."

1st and 2nd Hillbillies say: "Well, what's so dumb about that?"
3rd Hillbilly says: "She ain't got no dick."

"Because of the bad U.S. economy, many Broadway producers have started taking their musicals to China. In a related story, the entire cast of 'Cats' has been eaten." -Conan O'Brien

An English tourist was driving through Scotland when he noticed a man on the side of the road having sex with a sheep. A few kilometers further on he came upon a small town, so he parked his car and went into the pub for a drink. He grabbed a cold beer, sat at a table, and then took a look around the bar. He immediately noticed a one-legged guy sitting over at a corner table, masturbating without a care in the world.

The English tourist turned to the bartender and said, "what sort of country is this? A few kilometers back down the road there was this guy having sex with a sheep, and now that guy in the corner is furiously masturbating in full view of everyone."

The bartender said, "Ye 'eartless Anglish bastard, ye. 'e's only got one leg. 'ow do ye expect 'im to catch a sheep?"

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