Thursday, July 9, 2015

Greetings Laff Lovers,

I just read a story which said that in the next five years or so the U.S. Mint or the Bureau of Engraving and Printing or whoever is in charge of this crap, will redesign the $10 bill to replace ol' Alexander Hamilton with a woman!

Don't be too scandalized. Women have appeared on U.S. currency before, Suzy Anthony to name one, but the real question is who should appear on the bill.

Names have been floated like; Harriet Tubman, Eleanor Roosevelt or Rosa Parks, but I think a woman should be chosen who has had a real and significant impact on American history and culture.

My suggestions include; Linda Lovelace, Bea Arthur, Caitlyn Jenner, J. Edgar Hoover, and of course the one I am personally pushing for, Monica Lewinsky.

If you have any better suggestions, or you want to help support my campaign for Lewinsky, I would love to hear from you.

Commemoratively,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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"A new Nielson survey found that Washington, D.C. has the most 25-34-year-olds in the country who make over $100,000 a year. They're called hookers." -Jimmy Fallon



Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one engaged to be married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work. The conversation eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex lives.

After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in some S&M role playing.

The following week they met up again to compare notes. Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, "Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made mad passionate love on his desk right then and there!"

The engaged woman giggled and said, "That's pretty much my story! When my fiance got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we not only screwed all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!

The married woman put her glass down and said, "I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's. I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos. I finished it off with a black mask. When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?'"



"A new book about why women have sex claims that women's reasons differ from pleasure to obligation to even 'feeling sorry for the guy.' After hearing this, men everywhere said, 'Whatever...'" -Conan O'Brien



Dave was staring sadly into his beer and sighed heavily.

"What's up Dave?" asked the bartender. "It's not like you to be so down in the mouth."

"It's my five-year-old son," the man replied.

"Don't tell me, he's in trouble for fighting in school? My boy's just the same. Forget about it; it happens to boys that age," said the bartender, sympathetically.

"I only wish it was that," answered Dave, "but it's much worse. The little bastard has got our 16-year-old baby sitter pregnant."

"That's impossible!" gasped the bartender.

"No it's not," said Dave. "The sneak went and stuck a pin in all my condoms."