Monday, November 30, 2009
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I hope everybody had an enjoyable Thanksgiving last week.
It was nice and quiet at the TZ homestead. No mooching
in-laws. No mooching neighbors or relatives. Just me, the
wife and the mailman's kids. The wife even managed to pro-
duce an edible meal.
The only 'incident' occurred that evening while we were
sitting around the house struggling with our turkey induced
comas. The wife and I were parked in front of the TV in the
family room upstairs while the kids were scattered through-
out the house.
With her characteristically uncanny ears the wife heard the
television in the basement running when she knew all of the
kids were upstairs.
Without getting up from the sofa she bellowed six inches
from my ear, "One of you kids needs to go turn off the TV
in the basement!"
Nothing.
"I'm not kidding. I want one of you to go turn that TV off
NOW!"
Not a breath of movement from upstairs.
Finally, to save my own hearing I raised my voice, "I'm
going to count to three, and if one of you don't go down-
stairs and turn that TV off I'm going to go do it myself.
One. Two. Three!"
So I got up, turned the TV off, then I pounded upstairs
and slammed the bedroom door open where the two girls were
playing a video game.
"Didn't you hear me tell you to turn the TV off?"
They nodded.
"Then why didn't you do it?"
"You said you were going to do it yourself when you counted
three, so why should we go all the way to the basement?"
Since I hadn't explicitly said I was going to beat them
if they didn't do what I said, I didn't feel justified in
actually doing it. So I let them off. But I have this
terrible feeling the older one is going to grow up to be a
lawyer.
Predictingly,
TZ
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in
your family at this link: mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
The Tastes and Colors of Provence Cookbook
Good Cooking... Good Travels... Good People...
List Price: $12.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.99
This is one of the most unique cookbooks you'll ever own.
It's not just filled with recipes it is a guided tour of
the Provence of France.
People spend thousands of dollars to attend a full week at
Sylvie Lallemand's Provencal Cooking School. This book allows
you to experience a typical week at the cooking school AND the
actual recipes they cook.
You'll also enjoy 12 full-color water color prints by Sylvie...
and she's quite the artist too!
You'll even get some recipes from some of her favorite regional
restaurants.
This little book is packed with so much... after reading it
and of course trying out some of the recipes you'll feel like
you've been been on a journey to France.
Grab a book or two (they make wonderful gifts), by visiting:
VISIT: http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14570/c/120/a/498
"A court today ruled that American money discriminates
against blind people because they can't tell the bills
apart. I don't think that's true, because the one-dollar
bills always smell like strippers." -Craig Ferguson
If you're singing Christmas songs on your neighbor's lawn
at night with your church group, it's called "caroling."
But if you're doing it alone with no pants on, it's called
"drunk and disorderly."
Let The Creativity Flow... Library Play Dough
------->15 Mini Jars $4.99<-------
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/1442/c/186/a/498
"Botox has announced that Botox can be used to tighten up
breasts. The only problem is, your breasts always looked
surprised." -Jimmy Fallon
Purse Hanger 2-pk with Bonus Pouch
Cute, Clever & Convenient...
List Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $5.99
Get two for $9.98
It's always a problem... Where to put your purse when you're
eating out at a restaurant. Hang your purse on the back of
your chair (easy for someone to slip off). On the floor - under
your feet (not very convenient or sanitary). In your lap? That
would get old quick.
With the Purse Hanger you NEVER have to worry about this! Simply
hang your Purse Hanger on the edge of the table and hang your
purse on the hook. This holds your purse within "YOUR" easy reach, =
not the person sitting at the table behind you!
It sits on the tabletop and a metal hanger drops under the table,
where you conveniently and confidently place the strap of your purse.
FEATURES:
- Will hang from most tables - Supports up to 30 pounds
- You Get TWO Hangers - Includes carrying pouch
(silver & gold tone)
Grab a 2-pack for $5.99 or get two 2-packs (4 purse hangers) for
$9.98, Visit: http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14460/c/120/a/498
I recently picked a new doctor. After a couple visits and
exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well'
for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist
asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?"
"Oh, no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either!"
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued
ribs?"
I said, "No, my last doctor said that all red meat is very
unhealthy!"
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf,
sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"
"No, I don't," I said.
He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of
sex?"
"No," I said.
He looked at me and said, "Then why do you even give a shit?"
Email TZ at: mailto:tz@laffaday.com
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Laffaday forum here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
*** THE WORLD ACCORDING TO TZ ***
It's Available. The Laffaday Book... Check it out, it's
F-R-E-E (you pay s&h). For more info or to order visit:
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14420/c/120/a/498